Tag Archives: sick

Weathering the Pain

A perfect storm is howling
In the ocean’s upraised fists
Bellowing forth her furies
Spewing drenching mists
Clouds surround in crowds
Concealing the desperate fight
Of a tiny ship in tempest,
A pitiful, puny sight
And my little fingers cling
To the groaning, creaking mast
As we’re tossed about by waves
I fight to keep my grasp
The rain shows no discretion
In pelting my burning skin
And the sea, she shows no quarter
To the broken vessel that I am
My ears are full and ringing
My strength feels almost gone,
But I trust I must keep singing,
Keep on keeping on

To the sudden break of dawn.


Rolled Over

Unhinged again by pain, the spins
Around my ears keep me queasy,
Exhausted, broken, hyper-aware:
Loving me is never easy.
Pulsing ache and fevered throes
Cluttered breaths over shattered shards
Wracked up, wrung out, run down
I fight my own worst regards
Only one friend who writes,
Only one who values me
In the stumbling, tumbling turmoil
Of the worst that I can be-
These whispers hiss and spit
Inside my throbbing ears:
Wasted! Worthless! Naught to show
For all these tarried years.
Oh the physical weakness,
Whenever I assume
I may stand and work and run
On the thin fumes I have presumed
Were the common breaths of man.

How can I run my race
When I can barely stand?
Yet I live, and breath, and move
Inside Your pierced hand

And that’s enough for me.

.
.
.
.


Up in Smoke

Sometimes
… lately…

this heavy, hazy feeling
crowding my chest
this lazy, lumbering
never at rest
wheezing when I laugh
shuddering to shout
I have an unwell ache
skin shivers as I call out
rumbles when I am still
inhaling the silence
translating the gentle air
into an invasion of violence
marching inwards mundanely
with no respite to save it

and this recalls the ghosts of a life in smoke;
In the memory, how I crave it

… lately…
Sometimes


TB or Not TB

I’m stressed; scared to death
The pain in my chest
Could be transferable.

Fighting the blues; waiting for news
With so much to lose
For those who’ve loved me.

I resist defeat; my faith complete,
But earth tilts beneath my feet
Waiting, waiting for the diagnosis.

Am I so sick? My mind plays tricks
All my exhales burning thick:
Must loving me always be a risk?

Shhh, I try to deny
That age old lie
Repeating that I am contaminated,

And every soul drawing close
Pays a toll
Atop the kindness

When I mean no harm.