How long I’ve desired
Something timeless
Love watching me sleep,
Something to keep
When the mundane crimes
Accuse me.
Hard breaths, and long,
I’ve sent out my sonar
My words echo so far
Reflecting off future stars
Coming back home
Alone.
And I know hope, the answer
She’s a veiled street-dancer
And peddles for free
Wares redemptive to me,
But the music runs long,
A song I can’t remember
How to sing.
Blind I wait against my will
For the fury to build
Unleashing silent impenitence and
Over-compensatory sycophancy
Waiting for the blood to thin,
The vessels to expand, or perhaps
Contract to emend
This current course-
Pain coursing as vascular regret or disillusionment.
Oh, the worlds which in
I’ve dwelled, passing again
Through mist by mist
Faces erupting, faces dim
I must, I muster, I am
Fumbling graceless
On some twist of sin
And tasteless chaos
Where I’ve been reduced
Now incoherent echoes
Of meaningless words
Lost consonants
And low vows.
I wait for the rain
Which falls in me
To soak the solid
Am I insane?
Is insanity
The absence of hollow
Or the ability to see?
Can life possess
Or in truth be
An isolation tank?
I sank into sensory deprivation-
It sank back into me,
And still I’m tumbling
In the great descent.
It’s only alchemy
These combinations firing
Inside of me
This volatile language
My body reads
And obeys.
Data swimming
In a chemical stream
Informing every iota,
Every atom in me,
What I am to feel;
Who I am to be-
But I resist, I persevere:
I will not fear my basic chemistry.
Arrested in step
At the sudden lightness
Of curtains caressed
By an unexpected breeze
In the midst of an otherwise stifling heat-
Dancing in waves,
Touching my face,
Friction giving way
To cool… to calm…
To quiet relief as comfort.
Beauty hiding in the whispers
Wrinkling the curtains.
viewingcamelot 