viewingcamelot

It used to be so loud.
I wanted terribly to believe
I could be truly loved
It’s a silent grieve

Now the dirt is laid
Over the casket.

I’ve never been clasped
Inside safe arms, where
I could press against a heart
That beat for my welfare.

No more arms, no surprises,
Just tending my brood
And saying goodbye.

You are a judge and advocate
For those who can’t find justice.
A provider for the widow,
A father to the fatherless-

Filling the gap
Men leave behind.

Is that why You have loved me
Intimately all my days?
Because You knew
It would be the only way

I could believe love exists.
Thank You
For not being broken.

It’s a different kind of fear.
When that which snarls and salivates
For your life, takes you gently in hand,
Speaks tenderly- Imitates
A safer species.

When in disarming tones,
Commending what may not be true,
Guile croons to damage,
Or even end you,
All inside a charming smile.

It’s a different fear, when underneath
Is the thing that screeches against the light.
He is just as trapped as I,
And that’s when biting creatures bite.

She apologized for a noise
I didn’t even hear.

My life has required certain skills,
Segments pieced like a patchwork quilt.
How long have I appeased those
Who require blood for spilt milk?

Have I accepted as necessary conditions
Excessive exactions?
Am I allowing gouging
In daily transactions?

I asked what damage her noise caused;
Was it sharp? Was it hard?
Did she swing it like an axe?
What harm did it cause?

She giggled like butterflies.

No harm No foul No apologies
For a noise.

The Viking growls
From under his cowl
His restless impatience to shatter
Knits his eyebrows in scowl
Inside and under his trained civility
Wafts the odor of something foul.

He walks with cudgel raised
Looking for any inch of loss to defend
Holding hostages in hostility
Bring him his mead, he grins
But the blood may flow
The moment boredom sets in.

No one invades, no one contends,
No one will ever take a stand
Against the drunken Viking
Weilding his weapon in hand.

Is there a noble warrior
Left alive in the land?

Or were they all consumed by cudgel or mead?

In undeserved regalia
You have honored me,
You have washed my dirty wounds
And draped me in the finery
Of Your favor and affection.

I have been through death
The only thing that still lives in me
Is the breath You shared
But dying loosed my chain and freed
Me of my cares, my burden to strive.

I am only alive where You love.
If You withdrew it from my days
I would collapse back into my grave
Your love lifts me, carries me into the rays
Of warmth and blooming and song.

I can see the world by lovelight again
While the grave still sits in my chest
I see tragedy is the passing stranger
He will never be at rest
In a place You call home.

I have never lost a breath
That didn’t warm Your face.
You have been nearer to me
Even in the days of disgrace
Than I could hope or see

But I see You now.
I have never spent a moment alone.

Believing I was alone
In my blindness,
Was only listening to the stranger’s lie.

In and out of sleep
Gripped by fear
As a brand new predator
Draws near

To me and my brood.

I try making myself
Look bigger than I am.
I scream and roar
But I can’t scare him

And he returns to destroy

He changes color
And his fur changes design
His teeth are wet
He is after me and mine

And he keeps breaking the line
I can neither defend nor retreat

All night stuck between threat and defeat.

I feel gripped by despair
Fix Your love on me
Let Your mercy be

Newer than the morning.

If sorrow comes at night
But joy comes in the morning again
Help me believe the night will end

Give me peace when I feel graceless
Be faithful when I am faithless.

You have given me
A myriad of exquisite gifts,
Treasures in heaven

And I
Have burned them down.

I have torn everything apart
In search of some substance
That will not tear

And I
Rip as easily as them all.

I am a cyclone of destruction
Unfit for human company
I should have been quarantined

And I
Have been too blind to see it.

Forgive my pride.
In my vexation,
I spoke out of turn.
In my desperation

I elevated my own expectations.

But I should have endured silently,
Or left respectfully.

Every face is a constellation
Every star within
Pulsates in Morse Code
If you look, if you listen
The stars tell you all you need to know.

But wary be putting ear to sky
Guard your eyes
What gives you safe cover
Can also smother

What guides the helm
Can just as easily overwhelm
The hull.