viewingcamelot

I’ve felt my hand put to the plow;
I don’t want to turn back now.
I want to give You everything.
It is for You alone to depose kings
It is for me to be brave.
I don’t want Egypt back; I was a slave
As a submissive and devalued wife.
Free me to a higher purpose in life
Then meting out entertainment.
I am trapped in the containment
I will probably fail, but I’d rather try
Than live and die
In the constant shallows.
I want to walk on hallowed ground.

I want the best for him,
But as a woman,
I do not love him.

Here am I
The only beauty I’ve ever possessed
Came from Your adornments
I’ve been obsessed
With everything else
But You never let go.
I am Yours.
I relinquish control.
Make me to know Your will.
Who am I?
You love me without merit
Beyond surprise,

I am so unworthy,
You just love me anyway.

Help me be beautiful to You.

I know to be strong,
But the unexpected sight
Shakes my reserves
The lighthouse at twilight
And muddy boots,
And all my favorite things
But I have nothing to offer
Nothing to bring
And the beauty before me
Only makes me acutely aware
I will never be beautiful.
I can never belong there.

I keep saying
I’ve never known real love
Which may be true hand to hand
But You have come down from above
Not only to wear my cross,
To suffer life, to suffer death,
But You are here now
Closer than my breath
Never leaving nor forsaking.
Within this grief, my eye
Has turned to blur, my muscles
Are starting to fail me, but I
Have never been alone.
You have loved me magnificently
I have eaten all the manna my
Stomach could hold, but consistently
Complained of hunger.

Forgive me my blind fear
And the lament of unmet desires.
Take the coal, touch my lips,
Set my life on fire

And walk with me inside the flame.
All praise and gratitude belong
To You, the name above all names!

You are Love
And You are mine.

How much steadier I’m feeling
Day by day by day,
The fresh calm in my soul
Causes fear to give way
And the longer vision of grace
Gives my faith back its stay.

I feel embarrassed
Over my emotional displays
Now that I’m reminded
God’s love eternally outweighs

Every hint and whisper,
And His plan
Is worth the wait.

I took a winding trip
To see a friend of late
But in my absence, the ivy climbed
Overgrowing the garden gate
I turned to cross the meadow back
An upward glance, the sudden sight
Of a tall lighthouse on the far side
Radiating light.

I knew it wasn’t my place to tread
On private property, nor stand and stare,
But I felt a quiet gravity
Pulling me from here to there.
Too old to take the gambol
I was as close as I could ever be,
My path rambles in opposite directions
But when I close my eyes, all I see:

The unexpected lighthouse smiling back at me.

It’s odd to move
Through people’s presence
Feeling so absent
Lacking internal recognition
You’re even there
Seeing yourself
From the outside
Feeling embarrassed
You took you anywhere
Having a simple, gentle wave

Feel like your only honest communication.

What words are left to write?
Was there something else
I meant to say?

I’ve already talked too much anyway.

I wish he could be whole.
I wish he could know
Compassion and joy

To heal the little boy.

I give my dogs extra scraps,
Steady love, longer pats,
I try to toss the ball for
As long as they will bring it back

Because, in heartbreaking ways
I cannot here define,
They are my caged and singing
Canaries in the mine.

I can’t see a way
From here to there,
But it’s not on me;
I live under Your care.

I wish it weren’t,
But it is true,
I don’t know what love is,
But if it looks like anything,

It must look like You.