All this way, for what?
No one cares.

You keep reminding me to love,
To be kind, not to define man
Where I have no jurisdiction,
And I will do what I can

But God,

Be kind to me.
The wait is long.
The people were treacherous.
The disappointments throng

And seem cemented.

No one cared,
Now I’m not sure I do either.
I took my way
When we were dating
He spoke Your name
Looked close enough
But didn’t really obey
In the ways he didn’t want to
I knew it was common to man
So I hoped

I wouldn’t pay the consequence of sin.

Your Sin Will Find You.
Always.

We began by doing it our way
And rendering You lip service
Asking You to bless
Our presumption
And the meager ante
The gesture
We gave You instead of obedience
Instead of laying down our desires
And seeking You first

I’ve payed for it since.

No one should care.

What would caring look like?
Like You holding me back
From the final death
By betrayal?

I suppose, like Your men
Your earthbound friends,
I expected an earthbound answer
To an eternal, spiritual question.

Deferred Hope
There’s nowhere to turn
Ever in this life
But left or right
Farther into You
Or into destruction.

I read Your promises
And I couldn’t imagine
That kind of joy
Worth it all

But my time frame was off.
I was thinking
As one stride follows another,
As a pendulum swings
In turn
I have to alter my hope
Adjust my scope
Survive and search
The skyline

For the final resolution
Learn
To suffer in silence
Like a lamb before slaughter
Who is so very quiet.

Try to look like You
To the people who tear You apart
And rejoice
To share in Your sufferings

Which I can do
When I truly believe
I’m sharing with You.

The pain and betrayal,
The cold indifference of onlookers
The sustained injustice
Mockery and derision
From the very people
In charge of putting it right

Put me wrong.

But that was Your cross
Where You bore their sin
As they wrote it
In the carnal delights
Of Your misery.

You forgave them in it;
Help me look like You
To the ones who tear You apart

Forgive me
When I know not what I do.
Help me bear up

Until I cross over to rest in You,
Then remember me
When I wash up on the shore
Of Your kingdom
My Tender King.

I believe You still.