Even So

Oh Father, I’m so damaged.
I can barely manage
These broken bits of me
Ever falling out for all to see.

A dire protection isolates;
To retain what must remain inviolate
It’s too late for me, I’m untied
But for them, I can keep it inside

And what light have I to shine?
What witness can still be mine
When all I do is distract,
And my best gift is to detach?

How do I let Your light shine through?
How do I reflect solely You
And keep my mess aside?
I have failed You as hard as I tried.

I’ve been stretched to great lengths;
These weaknesses that show Your strength
Threaten to crack my reserves,
To open spillways no one deserves.

Yet I hear the call to hope resound
I feel my resignations unbound
And I tremble for the next step:
Blind at my best.

Grant me hope,
The ability to cope
With all my most broken,
And leave me unspoken

To speak instead You,
Oh God, Preeminent Truth
Speak to the lies whispering to my soul;
Make my witness whole.

Because when I am weak,
You alone can speak to it,
You change my substance
Melting my reluctance

Into love, into engagement,
Ever at my amazement
But not for my sake, so feeble,
But for the sake of nourishing Your people.

Because I’m swimming blind,
But if You are so inclined
Your kind hands may pull me free;
You may teach me how to see.

And how to feed the starved
Whilst You still carve time
With instruments of flesh.
These sins I confess.

And as You carve time,
Bear our end in mind.