What I have here
Is real, is good,
Is more than I should,
Above what I feared.
What I’ve held all these years
I’ve carried alone
I knew, on my own
My phantom wasn’t so dear.
Now I know the need is near
To cut the suture,
Kill the hope, free the future,
Burn the path clear.
To whom shall I confess this sin?
Who could understand why I, initially,
Preserved this love so artificially?
Why I persevered since then?
I swallowed the idea of you, when
All the world was lost, was dead,
The hope of you somehow fed
All I hoped could be, had been.
You trumped the worst of men
With quiet strength, faith, loyalty.
You were my royalty.
I would have died again, and again,
Death, separation, goodbye,
The best I could give, or you could receive,
Falling muted as an autumn leaf
Caught in the wind’s last sigh.