Kinsmen Redeemer

Is there no balm in Gilead?
Is there no physician there?
Why then has the health
of the daughter of my people
not been restored?
Jeremiah 8:22

I am broken down again.
This last revolution around the sun
Was costlier than my preparations
And by my seams, I am undone.
Isolation sent echoes, reverberations
Of reality, calculations, on and on they drone
In abandoned, sensate cerebral chasms,
But I am not alone
If You indwell me.
Keep me near.
I surrender any sin to scalpel,
Or any part of me that interferes
With Your everlasting kindness.
By my own eyes
I’m beyond repair,
Too much to bear, or to disguise.
Redeem me, Great Redeemer.
Lead me from death to life.
My sums come in: I’m insufficient
As a daughter, a mother, a wife;
Let me be Yours anyway.
Let Your countenance shine on me
So all my loss reflects Your grace,
All my ugliness, Your beauty.
I have endeavored to live for You,
But all my efforts have turned to dross
And all my love is trampled down
And all that remains is the gaping cost
And this is just my broken grief
Forgive me the manner in which I wail
Only You can do great things.
Only You can never fail.

Love me with Your everlasting love
For which I yearn, I hope, I sing
For only You can overcome
To love the unlovable thing.