When laughter rose heavenward,
And thoughts laid bare in delicate repose,
When souls opened to share
And I blended with those,
Then came the long trip home
Like waves eroding rock
In relentless assault, buffeted
By a thousand shocks
Your words smashed my core
And left my ears to ring since
You forced me to kneel
And for the sin of being, repent.
How you rearranged the day
Exposing every kindness invested
As my humiliation, tokens
Of concealed revulsion, mocking jest,
A world disgusted, but too polite
To make me leave
And I was a child, and you my mother,
And I believed.
The only answer spanning time,
Was to remove me:
My thoughts, my words,
My cumbersome company.
No matter how deep the laughter flows,
How strong the love I’ve known,
No matter how unbroken the relationship
There’s always the trip home.
In so many things we all share blame,
And it is only on me to save me
Yet as an adult, I struggle to put away
What as a child, you gave me.