Perhaps a fitting thing,
Ceteris paribus, to pray
Is for their own daughters
One distant, darker day
Who find themselves
In terrible need
To have the only ones in their corner
Be to their daughters

Exactly what they have been to me.

Every awful bit exposed;
My past, my flaws, my sins
For their own reasons, ever unknown,
They watched again and again
Now I’m waking up
From the nightmare of it all,
But the echoes of my humiliation
Resound as a migratory call.

I wasn’t valuable to them,
And that’s genuinely fine.
They didn’t ask for my devotion;
They barely paid for my time.
Nothing in our agreement
Required affection; they were clear:
Take them on their own terms
Or get the hell out of there.

If I hadn’t believed I was safe
I wouldn’t have been unguarded,
If I had been guarded,
When this thing started
I wouldn’t have been undone.
So disassembling my machine
Displaying each part to the open sun
Must hopefully be to repair and clean.

Because what is meant for evil
God means for good.
This is a place of bitter waters to me,
I’d leave now if I could.
I think I’m learning my own behaviors
Earlier I wanted to stay
Maybe because I believed abusive men
Would repent and choose Your way.

I’ve never shaken the dust off my feet,
I lick it and plead
For remorseless human beings
Who cause others to bleed
To see what they can’t see
To care where they can’t care,
But I don’t want them to care anymore

I want to get the hell out of here.

Waking up in tremors,
Looking at the wreckage
Looking at my mess, and theirs,
Through moderate eyes

And they should still be ashamed of themselves.