I’m broke down
Maybe for good this time
And it’s all on me.
There was a day
I could see my case
Filed against everybody
But those courts settled,
That dust fell,
And it’s all on me.

Sin is an ugly word,
An uglier deed,
And mine multiplies
In horror, I try, but
I can’t weed out my poison
Only I can see clearly now
I know now
We’re all like this.
We’re all an ugly horror.

We hold our hands
In each other’s filth
We try to believe
It’s all okay
Understandable,
Explainable,
Forgivable.
I know now:
It isn’t.

Not on its own,
For what it is.

Pink sky in morning
Warning me
Of the oncoming storm

My hatches are battened,
All but one
Waiting for him to come home

All lies still
On our quiet hillside
And still I listen with all my will

For the howling banshees I know
Of wind and spirit that go fleeing
Before the tsunami of snow

Soon to curl up under its robe of white,
To sleep in the spotless night:
A promise fulfilled in plain sight.

How do I crack the veneer,
This polished feeling
That threatens to steer me
Into a reeling destruction?

How do I maintain this impossible facade
Long enough for the getting to get good again
Long enough for my walk with God
To break and reset what’s bent by sin?

How do I take every thought captive
When I myself have been a captive my many years,
How do I unwrap this
Bitter disappointment engineered

From my first breath,
To my waking prayers,
To the faithless death of caring

That threatens to devour me?
How can I absorb the world,
And yet be?