To Whom

I feel like a failure… I wait
For some voice to speak stay,
Reconsider, reassess:
You belong here.

I know God has spoken over me,
And I am clean, and valuable,
But I fear the worst,
Just malleable because I’m dirt

And mud.

These days sit on me,
I feel, like property, I belong
To all that’s wicked, that throngs
Into depravity.
I’m desperate to lift my head
To be counted with Yours,
But humans keep score
And I’m in the arrears I dread
You see, or scold.
Not worthy, it’s hard
To hold no membership card
To your own household
But I wasn’t born into,
Just glommed onto this way,
This breathtakingly beautiful way
I feel I was made and meant to

Love forever.

Wait patiently, You say,
And so I try,
Though long are the nights,
And early the day
I can do the math;
I put them ill at ease,
But it’s You I hope to please
Am I on the wrong path?
I’m ashamed of myself,
Or myself I shame,
But it’s only in Your name
I stake my wealth.
Silence won’t change
My basic substance
I am what I am, but this
Is what I exchange

To become more like You.

I feel like a failure… I wait
As patiently as a I can,
For You to speak value
On whatever I am.