Eyes that can’t see.
Ears that can’t hear.
These are the frustrations
Of a God who draws near-
I think He speaks
In what we see as incidence,
Repeating patterns,
Symmetry, coincidence-
His language permeates all,
Every moving mite of matter:
Light, sound, the fluidity of time
Is His divine chatter.

Father, give me eyes to see,
Ears to hear,
To step where You step,
To stay ever near.

Nothing is impossible
With You.
I believe every promise
Will come into view.

I have glimpsed the gossamer strings
In the loom of mystery,
And I know the Weaver King is True.

What You have vowed,
You will do.

Forgive me
For uttering a word
Against Your promises
It’s profoundly absurd
To imply tardiness
Or impotence
To the only invariably
Sure and reliable substance
In all existence:
Your nature and intent.
Of my pride and idolatry,
In ash, I repent.
If my way is dark
It’s because I am blind
Fashion a salve, apply the balm,
Help me find
The path back home

Into Your will.

You give and You take away;
Blessed be Your name forevermore!

That last prayer
Was just another way of saying
I’m angry.
I wasn’t really praying
For forgiveness,
I wanted retribution,
But these feelings are foreign
To my constitution
You created me differently,
So I bow the knee
To none other but You
Forgive me,
And forgive them.

Always Do
What pleases You
Cauterize my bitterness.
Let Your will be done on earth, as it is

Everywhere else through all time.

Forgive me, Father,
For banging the judge’s gavel
From the seat of pardon-
For letting myself harden and unravel.
Whatever they have done,
Or refused to do,
Is not my jurisdiction:
I surrender my claims to You.
You don’t sever wholesale;
You judge each by their fruit.
I turn them over to You
And release the pursuit.
Vengeance is Yours,
And You’ve promised vindication
Is the heritage of Your servants:
Forgive my imprecations.
I walk away, and from my sandals
I shake off the dust.
Repair my faith, my love, my hope,
And most of all, my shattered trust.

Thank you for the good;
Redeem or remove the bad.
When the tears eventually run dry
Instruct me again how to be glad,

Restore to me Your joy.

I cannot fathom what it takes
To sit behind a lens
And watch someone die
Again and again and again and again
The self-protected, self-contented,
Voyeuristic, sadistic extremes
Preferring to consume, then expel,
Instead of care and intervene.
Self-righteous murderers slurping
Whatever blood doesn’t cry from the sod:
My only hope is that man
No longer reflects the image of God.

This grief is bitter in my soul
And longs to murder the approaching day
What is required of me
Is beyond what I can pay.
There are none alive
Who will stand for.good.
Promises feel like bread crumbs
Circling inside the dark wood:
My only hope and sustenance,
But they seem utterly useless.
I have met no one here
Who isn’t ruthless.
Tonight, with my closed fist,
I want to burn down this world of men
Because it will be the only warmth
I will ever get to feel again.
I want to wish away every moment
I’ve ever shared with another
Erase every word and shared smile
Cover every laughter until smothered
Until I swear my soul to concrete
That I will never return in grace
To those hungry souls
Who ate my place.

But that’s the kind of sacrifice
You bleed to an idol, not a Lord.
That’s an allegiance
I cannot afford.

And so I mindlessly stutterstep
Barefoot through broken hope
Shattered shards slice deep
Beyond what I can cope,
But I’m ever alone, and it’s all on me

To never buckle under the weight
Of every bitter thing.

Maybe I should just burn down me:
There’s no one to grieve.

Whether I am a beloved vessel
Of honor, or one of disgrace,
I am Your vessel.
Keep me before Your face.

The earth is Yours, and all mankind.
All is in Your care, under Your command:
Whatever becomes of me,
Let it come from Your hand.

Don’t turn me over to the hands of men.
Let wrath fade; Your grace abound free.
I am Your humble maidservant;
In the womb, You found me.

Be gentle with me, Lover of my soul,
Ache with my ache each day.
I don’t know what to ask You for,
But I know to Whom I pray.

I’ve always been on my own
Wandering window to window
Where I had no place to call home
Hoping for warmth that couldn’t come
To a nomad on the roam
A lifetime abandoned to the road:
On my own, but never alone.

My life has passed like scenes
Through a train window
Streets and towns and dreams
Clasped hands and hopes
Scattered by the slipstream
Settling into the debris,
Fragments of me left unredeemed

Like unpunched tickets
But I’ve always had my plus-One
Through the thick of it
My ride-along I couldn’t shake
Through drought or sickness
Learning maybe love
Doesn’t need the chimney and pickets

Maybe sleeping in a cold railcar
Is as good as a home
When you know how far
The One beside you will travel
Will persevere through hard
Miles, and hearts, and tears,
Under the rain or stars.

It won’t be long again
Before I take up the bindle
But I already know when
I disappear in the night
My flight won’t be without my Friend
Because You never leave me alone
From beginning to end

You’re the only One I could ever count on;
You’re the only faithful among faithless men.

My gift today, I saw his face
Like clock gears noiselessly
Clicking in place
Peacefully ordered, voicelessly
Emanating grace.

I felt safe from violent depravity.
Only a few moments, but full,
I rested in the center of gravity
Neither pushed, nor pulled,
But still in a beautiful tapestry

Woven in a young lion’s mane
Lighthouse eyes burning like bonfires
A voice like the west wind unchanged
The scent of nostalgia, hearth, desire,
Wherein I cannot remain,

But a single inhale is a forever gift.