Disrepair

I can’t build into people anymore.
Maybe I never could.
I don’t want to live as a parasite;
I want to impact people for good.
While I’m flailing,
So far from whole
I can’t protect anyone
From my own dark toll.
If I have nothing good to bring,
Then I am exacting a cost.
Am I evil?
Am I lost?

What I was as a child,
I am as an adult.
Nothing stops the hurting,
And I think it’s all my fault.

I think I should isolate
Until I can deactivate
My broken systems.