Father to the fatherless,

I think I lied.

I said I loved
But I live in fear.
You’re still the King of Kings;
Stay near.

I don’t trust anyone,

Not since the butchers
Cut me apart
But I was too quick
To offer them my heart.

At the first

I tried to get help.
I deeply regret it.
I grieve, I want to leave
So I can forget it.

But I’m leaving with a lion

Who may at any moment
Eat me alive
End my stay, end my story,
End my strive.

And get away with it.

I can’t leave my children alone,
But You told me years ago
You are their father, the kind
Who will never let go.

Please protect them.

They didn’t choose us.
They didn’t choose this.

I didn’t mean to.

I have forgotten how to sing
Because I don’t breathe deeply anymore.
I am braced for the thing
Behind the next door

Always scraping,

But I don’t want the people here,
Who lie to themselves all day
To have the satisfaction.
I want to go away

So they don’t get to watch.

My heart is so shattered.
Thank you for those last days
When I got to be myself again.
I was free to bake, to sing, to play,

One last time.
Even if it was in a lion’s den.