I always cut them from my map
All the places I’ve been.
I drive carefully
So I never end up there again
But every so often
Some corner I’ve cut
Cuts into me first.
Some unexpected turn juts
Into the landscape of my soul,
Etched forever in my rearview.
I can’t figure the exact moment
I fell in love with you
It took me til now
To realize it’s true.

Incompatibilities and impossibilities.
Folklore and fairytales.
How cruel it’s going to be
To carry you with me down my last trails

While you are off somewhere starting new ones.

It’s already you I weigh everyone against.
No one else is nice enough to let in.

What an unusual collision.

The thorn is still in the wound
So the pain stays acute,
But it’s a lie if my cries
Leave gratitude mute.
I am summarily thankful.
You’ve been generous in my need.
My praise derails because of details.
I feel shock as I bleed.

Don’t forget me.
Don’t let me forget Your faithfulness.

If only I could see this thing from Your vantage point.

Something about this place
Urges me to stay
But how do I move on
If I don’t move away?
I see it isn’t their fault
And what’s wrong with me

Will always be.

Watching in secret:
I see why they hid it.
I’m not mad anymore.
I understand why they did it,
They had their own lives,
Priorities and utilities,

And I was never their responsibility.

You said not to see it so,
But this place has been
Utterly humiliating
Remind me who I am again
Show yet more kindness
Like You have from the start

Will anyone be tender with my heart?
I think I should wall off that hope next.

Help me to deeply, truly forgive.
Give me the wisdom to live

This new future I must excavate

Alone.

On the back nine
With a stroke count so high
It’s gotta be beyond repair.
I worked hard to get here
Chopping the green out from under the ball
From the get go, I got it all

Wrong.

Trying to get to the end
I’m playing it where it lands,
But not for keeps, not to win
When there’s a club in my hands

I swing it.

Leaving this place
Is leaving behind much of me.
But what else may help
The woman I used to be

Love again

How foolish to still care.

Why voice it?
She shouldn’t even try
A life spent
In the do or die

Wasted like prodigal coins

A woman no one loved

I don’t deserve what I have
I don’t belong enough to stay
But they’ll be nothing left of me
When I finally go away

Whenever I leave this time
My heart stays behind.