Red Light, Green Light

I’ve had time to settle,
But I still can’t diagnose
What exactly happened,
What caused the death blows
To all the life we built

On my shoulders, I feel I carry
Though I can’t extensively name,
Much or all of the responsibility,
The burden and the blame
For what my children lost.

I’ve spent a life in constant conference
Stepping out on the count of three
Only to look around and discover
It’s only me
And a forced juggle.

I’m tired.