Roving and Raving

I’ve been so arrogant
My entire life.

How could I not see
All my petitions
Were just grownup versions
Of my nervous condition
Always pleading
Not to burn my dolls
Or throw my kittens
Down the well.

I am pummeled,
Buffeted, I wince
At the wind
I flinch in defense
But I no longer
Run away
Because everywhere
Is every day.

I have nothing to pay
The Ferryman.
I have nothing of value
To trade again
For any safe passage
If such passage exists;
The earth may only spin
By the strike of foot and fist.

God,

Whether here or there
May my brood and I know
What it is to be cared for
To be safe and loved
Where there is strength
That doesn’t feint
To keep you maintained

Is there still time to heal?
Could it heal to abide
Inside some kind
Of gentle protection?

Everyone is waiting
To strike, to bite,
Those who aren’t have
Turned shoulders cold

I am a tragic sight
An old, rejected wife
Put out into the frigid night
With coyotes and frostbite
To the tune of indifference.

Did I always have it coming?
Did I deserve to be humbled?

Love me anyway
Because You Are
The God of the Impossible.

I’m sorry for the nothing
I have left to offer.
I’m sorry I wasn’t worth more,
And couldn’t increase my value.