Father Forgiving,

I know I’m looking at this all wrong.
I keep trying to forgive
As mind over matter
But the grief I’ve lived
Exacts blood, and I cry out.

I sensed the narcissism, the rage,
I sensed the treasury
Of self-satisfied pride,
But I never sensed the treachery,
Or the reliance on unjust gain.

But I don’t want them destroyed:
I pray You dismantle the dysfunction.
Purify them of their idols.
Rebuild them for a higher unction
Than self-aggrandizement at cost.

Help me remember when the pain swells,
And the anger shakes my fist
That I survived
And You redeem the twists
Of Fate’s chains.

Thank You
For establishing the work of my hands,
In a place of provision and fairness
Where I need not buckle under demands
Far out of their jurisdiction.

Purify me of the loves I shouldn’t hold.
Help me to move forward and fully let go.
When people show me they don’t care
Help me to see; help me to know
Like the fig tree that refuses to bear.

Thank You for those in my life now
Who value me in surprising ways.
Help me be a blessing to them,
As I used to pray every day
At Wellness.

Protect me from the folly of my affections.
Lead me in wisdom and discretion.
Help me leave them to You,
And not look back in my procession
Like Lot’s wife did.

Give me the strength for the work ahead,
And the needed endurance and skills
I will keep endeavoring to make my hands strong,
Continue to deal with me from Your gracious will,

Jesus, my most gentle and generous Savior.