Silent Lambs and Bullseyes

I remember, as a young girl,
Lying under a dark cloud
Sensing the swarming evil
Teeming in a death shroud
Vacuous, malevolent,
Ruthlessly cold and proud

I repeated “I belong to God”
Until it dispersed
But the hatred I felt was
Undiluted and worse
Than anger- pale, remorseless,
Gnashing curses.

Tonight, in a moment alone,
Someone who never yells,
Erupted at me violently
Kicking over a stool that fell
And skittered away between us.
Some part of me could tell

It was more than an unusual moment.
There was an old force at play.
The one who has hated me
From my first birthday
Who wanted me dead in the womb
And to cut short my stay

Scratching with borrowed fingernails
And a hunger to devour me
Whenever I am exposed
Within the power of their teeth
I could feel the surge, the attempt,
And I can now see

People don’t know what comes over them
When they get alone around me
Because it’s the same ancient evil
That has always found me.
It isn’t fully them.
It is a case, profoundly,

Of wrestling not with flesh and blood,
But powers resistant to God’s will.
I recognized the thing quickly tonight,
And it didn’t fulfill its desire to kill
But after all these decades
It hates me still.

Not because of anything about me, but because of who’s above me.
Not because of anything I am, but because the True God loves me.