Matthew ‘n Me (again)

Last night I begged You tearfully
To protect me from blasphemy,
From cursing You and dying,
From the horror of denying
I feel on the other side
Of every day, my severed pride
My punctured peace,
My pain cries for release
From me: my new identity

Which is not in You.

I live a slave in every way.
In a colorless fade, I stray
With no recognition or feeling
Into error in my blinded reeling,
And back to the ground, flat upon my face,
Groping for the feet of the throne of grace
Unable to discern what hem is near
Through eyes flooded by blood and tears.
Living inside a sarcophagus lie

Painted pristine and flesh-eating.

Today, You remind me tomorrow
Is a thing against which I cannot borrow;
It worries and works out its own way.
I will only ever have today.
And Peter said what was true;
He recognized the Lord in You,
And that alone was a gift You gave.
But when faced with the grave
Of all he loved and hoped, unable to cope,

Peter denied You three times,

And You restored him still,
After his crime,
In Your tender will and timing.

When You converted Mercury into Stone,
Never leave me alone. Move for me as well,
God Most Holy and Most High.