My God

God, I don’t deserve a friend like You.

You silently shoulder all of my abuse.

I beat at You sometimes; You wait

For my childish emotions to abate.

When I stutter, my resolve slips low,

When You should really say, “I told you so,”

You sing softly, smooth my hair,

Soothingly release where I’m ensnared.

Myopia: I don’t know what to pray.

I only live in yesterday.

I forget today, forget there’s a tomorrow.

I cannot pay back what I’ve borrowed.

Shalom: what is the cost of whole?

This nephesh, this breath of soul?

I forget there are more than merely days,

Silenced by Your higher ways.

At risk of discarding this current beauty,

I don’t deserve all you do for me,

But I am eternally grateful.